Close to God

"I was hoping that you’d pray for me. I know that you’re close to God and all."

I’ve never called myself religious. And God knows I’m no saint. I try my best but I make more than my fair share of mistakes. For heaven sakes, I’m a single mom. I think that says it all. I do however try to learn from my mistakes.

That one little conversation just stunned me. Like I said, I never really thought of myself as religious, and I certainly never thought of myself as "close" to God. I mean really, to me it sounds a bit to close to the old time euphemism for death, walk with God. That one comment, question really, made me think about myself. I just can’t seem to see myself as others see me I guess. All I’ve ever done is try to do my best to live the way I think I’m supposed to. I certainly don’t see myself having whispered conversations with the Good Lord in the Garden. The closest I’ve ever gotten was the sense of love and peace when I feel the warmth of the sun on my face or even when I just happen to notice something beautiful that I wouldn’t normally look at, like my precious sky pictures that I’ve started posting in facebook.

I don’t feel special, but I do notice a difference between my coworkers and myself, although I just chalked it up to being raised differently. I don’t like curse words. Except for the British use of the word bloody. Although I think it’s just the British accent when they say it. It’s the standard curse words that get to me. They make me feel uncomfortable to the point where I’ve found myself wincing when hearing them. I especially dislike reading novels that use them. It’s almost as if they echo around in my mind for long minutes afterwards, probably from my lack of using them. I can’t stand them, but everyone else is okay with them.

And I’m sure that anyone who I’ve talked to on any sort of regular basis knows about my gripes about a particular manager of the store that I work at. Maybe she’s not that bad a person. Maybe she doesn’t really dislike me as much as I thought. Perhaps it’s just that I look at life differently than her… Maybe that’s pushing it a bit. She can be very cruel sometimes. But is it really cruel or does it just seem cruel to me? It’s too bad the whole concept of walking a mile in another’s shoes doesn’t really work. I would love to know why she is the way she is.

And just what makes a person seem close to God? How can someone that I’ve only known for around a month, and very infrequently at that, decide that not only am I close to God but that I would make a good person to ask to pray for them. I’ve never talked about God to anyone there. I rarely talk about any sort of religious topic to anyone really, but certainly never at work. I have always been adamant about not working on Sundays, but to be honest that has always been more about my singing in the choir than church itself. I’d feel lost if I didn’t go to church at all, but I see no problem with going on Saturday instead.

I suppose I’ll figure it out eventually. In the meantime I need to get off to bed. It sucks sometimes having a morning shift. But at least I get to have the majority of the daylight to enjoy afterwards. Tomorrow is the season premiere of Psych! I can’t wait for that. Two of my favorite shows are coming on, Eureka and Psych. If only there was a Doctor Who or Monk episode my life would be complete tomorrow. 🙂 I’ll just have to be satisfied with what I can get. Catch ya all later! I need to start thinking about my next posting at Catholic Chicks, I’ve been slacking lately. 😦


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